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“Johnny!”
(no response)
“Johnny, did you clean your room yet!?”
Every parent has been in the situation where they feel like
their child just won’t follow directions. It doesn’t matter if your child is 3
years old or 13 years old, sometimes that ‘selective hearing’ just kicks in.
Sometimes your child can be distracted, or even defiant. Often times, an
adjustment to our approach can make all the
difference!
Here are 3 easy steps that may help your easiily-distracted
child (no guarantee it works on spouses!):
1)
Make sure your child is actually listening!
Kids get distracted – we all know this! Make sure that before you even give the instructions, you have your child’s full attention. Disconnect them from what they’re doing – turn off the TV, video games, etc. Better yet, move them into a completely different room so their attention is fully on you.
2)
Set them up for success when giving the
instructions
All people learn 3 ways: Visually, audibly and
kinesthetically. In our martial arts classes at American Martial Arts Academy,
we’ve found our instructions must always
teach these 3 ways, regardless of how we learn best.
Visually: Always make sure you have eye contact before
you talk. If you are giving your child
instructions, give them your full attention and expect their full attention.
Talk at your child’s level. Bend down to their level, or
move to their side of the room, rather than yelling from across the hall.
Audibly: Limit
any distractions while giving instructions. Turn off the TV (even if you’re the
one watching it) or turn off the blender.
During the task, make sure your child can focus as well.
Kinesthetically:
Some children can be very kinesthetic. For younger kids, hold their hands
(rubbing their hands with your fingers) as you talk to them. Get them to verbalize back the instructions
(with eye contact!)
3)
Follow-up on the task
A great strategy for a lot of children can be to visually
display the task, perhaps on a white-board on the fridge. Everyone loves crossing off an item on the
to-do list; when they’re done, let them cross it out!
Remember to keep instructions limited to a small
amount. For kids younger than 8, I
recommend 1-2 instructions at the most!
For larger tasks, use your discretion to allow them small breaks.
Bonus Pro Tips:
Remember, anger and frustration helps nobody. We all fall short sometimes, and we all
procrastinate! Use these opportunities
as learning, fun experiences.
Find an outlet for the extra energy. Some kids just have lots of restless energy. Find a sport or activtity like martial arts that will help your child build focus while having fun.
We hope this helps- as always, if you have any questions, feel free to email me at SenseiJoshi@karateoc.com.
www.karateOC.com
(714) 646-9635
